With a Little Help from Our Friends

Sometimes powerful life-changing lessons occur like a slap in the face, as I described last week in this blog. At other times, the most important lessons are so challenging to our character, that it is hard for us to see. Such times require the perspective of others who we rely on for advice. Their lessons may bear repeating throughout our lives–we can all use a coach, guide, or mentor.

Since I was very young, I've always been an enthusiastic learner, someone who gets so caught up in the excitement of an idea that I just can't wait to jump in. I remember a comment from Mrs. Benson, my second grade teacher, "Ronnie is so enthusiastic about his learning; it would be nice if he gave the other children in the class the opportunity to answer the questions once in a while." I think you get the picture. Being patient, allowing the opportunity for others to weigh in, soliciting their thoughts and perspectives, timing the input of an idea until its appropriate moment, are all issues I've had to struggle with throughout my life.

Over the years, I have had mentors and guides who have given me perspective when I get blind to this issue. One such person was Dick Stimpson, a great supervisor and mentor, and the master of the well-timed remark that could change the direction of a conversation. My wife, Suzanne, whose advice is clear, focused, and when necessary blunt, is another example of someone who helps me see and hear what is not so easy for me to see or hear.

When it comes to changing deeply ingrained habits, I think it is often necessary to rely on others who care about us, who are committed to our growth, and who can see us in ways we cannot see ourselves. Their advice is the most precious.

At Avila, our faculty and staff get to know our students well. They have a deep interest in the students, in their development, and have an abiding care for them as individuals. They are present to point out the opportunities for improvement to be sure, but often help students recognize the gifts that they may not even see ... or be ready to claim. Sometimes our greatest gains happen through a little help from our friends.