Finding One’s Voice

Sometimes the important lessons of life come through the gentle words of a parent, friend, or mentor who reaches us with the right comment at the right moment. Other times, those life lessons come when a harsh reality hits one square between the eyes and creates for us a new and radical revelation. Those revelations come at the loss of earlier maxims and beliefs. This was the case for me.

We've all heard the expression, "It is better to be seen and not heard." Most children receive this caution when they are in the presence of visiting guests or other adults and their parents expect them to be on their best behavior. There comes a time when what may have been good advice for a child does not serve one well as an adult. A key developmental task for all of us is finding our voice, trusting our own point of view, and learning to be confident enough to articulate it when and where appropriate.

For me, this lesson came as one of those harsh realities during the fall semester of my freshman year in college. I was at a fund raising meeting for the scholarship program of which I was a part. The meeting was taking place in Washington, D.C., at the offices of one of the executive vice presidents of the Ford Motor Company. In the room were a congresswoman, executive vice presidents of two other major corporations, the Secretary-Treasurer of the AFL-CIO, a prominent Washington lobbyist, the director of my scholarship program and me, a lowly freshman. We were discussing how to raise sufficient funds to sustain this start-up scholarship program. As the meeting was drawing to a close, one of the EVPs asked me what I thought. I responded, "I think everything that has been discussed thus far makes sense and the decisions we are making seem like a good course to follow." What I thought was, "Who am I to be telling these people what I think!"

The meeting ended and my director and I got on the elevator for the ride down. When the doors closed, he turned to me and said chillingly, "I bring you to these meetings for one reason and one reason only – because I think you have a point of view to offer. If you are ever in another meeting with me and you say something as inane as you just said, you will never be invited again." At that moment, I learned that no matter who is in the room, no matter their power or their position, that I would trust my point of view and I would be prepared to articulate it in a clear and compelling fashion. It was a powerful, but hard lesson to learn.

My hope for our students at Avila is that they learn that they have ideas worth offering, that the world needs to hear their ideas, and the only way for them to grow stronger in their articulation is to give it a try ... often. We seek to offer our students many opportunities to learn that their voices are valued and important. In the process, we hope they grow confident in themselves and their ideas.